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Divorced Dad Memories
By: Hoju Koolander
By the time my parents got divorced in the early 90's, I was just one of dozens of other elementary school kids who now spent their time between 2 different households. While I would have preferred to have my "parental units" together in a single happy home, there was a bright side to their split, more time with Dad! When I was younger my father was definitely around, but did spend a lot of extra hours at the office going over contracts and "putting out fires".
So the benefit of the divorce was that we now had weekly appointments for "Dad n' Son Time" that I always looked forward to. It worked out that Thursday nights, plus every other weekend we got together for fun adventures and memory making. Here's a few of my favorite times spent with my Divorced Dad.
Dinners At BeBop Burgers
The 80's and early 90's were full of nostalgia for the 1950's in pop culture. Since my dad was a high schooler during that era of doo-wop and drive-in movies, he often took me to an awesome retro diner style restaurant called BeBop Burgers in Irvine, CA for a night of fun. I loved this place. The walls were covered with publicity photos of James Dean, Doris Day and Jerry Lewis, while the wait staff served us in vintage uniforms of the day. This was before Johnny Rockets pimped out the concept in every mall, so it was still a novelty.
As we enjoyed our burgers, fries and milk shakes, an old school disc jockey would spin records by Little Richard, Elvis Presley and Leslie Gore as if we were at a high school sock hop. They also had Polaroid photo area set-up where you could pose in a classic convertible with a beach side drive-in movie backdrop, which I was pretty obsessed with. Mostly I enjoyed the idea of experiencing the fun my Dad had during his youth and imagining what mischief he might have gotten into.
Comic Book Store Hero
My comic book obsession hit hard in 1992, which was the height of the comics boom with the newly formed Image Comics feeding the frenzy, as well as the Death of Superman event getting news coverage and encouraging the speculator market. On Saturdays, Dad usually had work to do at his office in Anaheim, CA and lucky for me there were 3 different comic book shops nearby along a 5 mile of stretch of Harbor Blvd. Dad was more than happy to bankroll an afternoon of reading and willingly played chauffeur.
Comics Unlimited was my favorite, in addition to a massive rack of new comics and several rows of back issue bins, they had lots of posters, figures and other super hero paraphernalia. I was big into the Reign of the Supermen storyline, wanting to solve the mystery of who was in fact the resurrected Man of Steel and the new Robin mini-series had captured my imagination as well. But I also enjoyed grabbing a few older titles like Marvel's original What If..? series to ring up at the checkout counter next to an issue of Spider-Man 2099.
In 1993, Mile High Comics opened a superstore down the street and this massive castle of comics was overwhelming. In addition to endless rows of back issue bins, they also held live auctions for collectible comics and on one occasion my Dad played hero to me with his magic money clip. Though I never got too heavy into the collector mentality, Spider-Man had been my childhood favorite, so when the auctioneer held up the first issue of Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man and asked for bids, I gave Dad a nudge.
$50 later, I was the owner of a piece of comic book history and still cherish it to this day. Not because of any monetary value (honestly, it was the 2nd tier Spidey title of that era), it's treasured status came more from the fact that my Dad was willing to participate in my hobby to the point of shelling out cash for something I'm sure seemed (and was) frivolous. Every trip to the comic store filled me with gratitude for having such a cool Dad.
Car Ride Radio
In California you drive the freeways constantly, so my Dad and I always had talk radio of some sort on in the background, especially KFI AM 640. National hosts like psychiatrist Dr. Laura Schlessinger or right wing blowhard, Rush Limbaugh were always jabbering away at us and I also got a kick out of the opinionated voices of local talent like Bill Handel or Stephanie Miller. Dad knew I was becoming a fan and surprised me one day with a collection of publicity photos from the station. I couldn't believe it, I could now attach a face the voices, it was amazing!
In the evenings we would switch the radio in my Dad's 1966 Mercedes over to KNX 1070, a local news station that played old radio shows. He had often told me about his childhood evenings spent listening to the adventures of mysterious crime fighter, The Shadow and now I got to experience the stories for myself along with him. We even bought cassette tape collections so we could listen together on long road trips to see my grandparents. As a result, I eventually started recording my own radio dramas with friends in the same style.
Lucky for me, in 1994 The Shadow was about to make his big screen debut in a movie starring Alec Baldwin, so I got to join the official fan club, buy the board game and most exciting of all, go to the theater with Dad. I've kept the ticket stubs all these years because this movie going experience was the convergence of our one shared interest and a special moment of bonding.
Must See TV and Chinese Food
Many family memories revolve around meal times, but for me this one became a weekly tradition for almost a decade. Eventually my Dad moved one town over to a place called Tustin and just around the corner from his new place was a strip mall take-out restaurant called Irvine Chinese Food. After tasting their amazing Kung Pao Chicken I began asking to eat there every time Dad picked me up on Thursdays, I couldn't get enough. It became a weekly event and soon the owners knew us by name, happily welcoming us each time we walked through the door (that is an actual photo of the manager I took). It felt like we were the Chinese Food equivalent of Norm from Cheers. Speaking of prime time television icons...
The other part of the tradition was to take my Kung Pao to Dad's house and slowly devour it while watching a cavalcade of 90's sitcoms. So what was on? The evening always started off with a new episode of The Simpsons, then I would click over to NBC's Must See TV line up which consisted at various points of Mad About You, The Single Guy with Jonathan Silverman, Seinfeld, Boston Common, Caroline In the City, Suddenly Susan and Friends. It was good food and good times I could count on. This continued up to the year 2000, even after my Dad moved out of that neighborhood.
You see, once I got into high school, hanging with friends and other after school activities kept me from going over to Dad's house as often. Yet, he kept the tradition alive by delivering the Kung Pao chicken to my door every Thursday. Can you believe that? All he would get for his efforts was a quick, "Hi" and "Thank You" from a hungry, self-centered teenager, but he was always there without fail. That's love, man.
There were a lot of other good times too, like our trip to a DeLorean car show, eating at Planet Hollywood, visiting the Calico Ghost Town and Dad's special German pancake recipe, but I think you get the point. If divorce can have an upside, it's that a parent can make more time for their kids and build the relationship even stronger. My Dad did and I'll always be thankful to him for making our quality time extra special.
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