The Cereal Incident

By: fuschnikt

Remember the days you could go to the grocer with your mother and rely on the cereal aisle to have box after box brandished with the words, and I’m paraphrasing here, ‘Free Toy Inside!’ Few and far between these days.

I can remember hiding a box of Corn Pops under my bed overnight to be sure to get my hands on the sticky football that would tumble down any wall you chucked it at. (I was young, naive, and my brother already had one, so, fair play)

Furthermore.. do you remember the days when that fun toy was actually hidden, imbedded within the sweetness of the cereals for you to dig your hands in and excavate your prize? These days if you do luck upon a box with a toy inside, it is sealed in its own baggie, safely outside of the cereal bag itself.

Now..I understand the modern desire to sanitise everything, but spelunking the box through masses of flakes or loops or puffs or what-have-you was one of the funnest parts of childhood. You earned that free toy inside. Allow me to tell you a story..

When I was four years old my mother brought a box of cereal home from the crunchly club. The crunchly club is what, in my childlike innocence, I had dubbed “The Country Club”. A grocery store that once resided in the space that is now a Gold’s Gym just down the mall from Donatelli’s, near Century College. I’m sure many of you know the spot.

As I recall I spent many-a-time side tracked from play, repeating those words, “crunchly club”, to my parentals, who assured me they weren’t laughing ‘at’ me. The aforementioned box of cereal was a big box of the Cap’n. Cap’n crunch. So delicious, then and now. Of course, being the good old days, this box contained a free toy inside. A robot..which perhaps did something that I can’t recall. I wanted this robot.

Taking the box to my room I assured my mother I just wanted to look at the box. “Just don’t open it” she said. I closed the door. My first attempt to open a box of cereal culminated in an explosion of miniature yellow biscuits all over my childhood room. I immediately started weeping uncontrollably, much like a four year old, which I was.

Frantically, and in a panic, I started cramming handful after handful of cereal pieces and carpet fibers into the mangled bag and box, chanting a mantra of ‘mom is gonna be so mad at me’ ad nauseum. When all was done I confessed my transgression to my mother between the dry hiccupy spasmic inhalations that only come to children after the most intense bouts of sobbing. I never got the robot.

To this day I’m not sure what it did, if anything,aside from being plastic and robot-y. The cereal was likely tossed. Nobody should be eating that many foreign particles and carpet fibers.

Looking for more from fuschnikt?

READ 188148 TIMES

My All Time Favorite Nick Shows

Because the Splat was recently launched and Nick played such a huge part of my childhood, in this article I will be discussing my all time favorite Ni...

A Few Retro Facts About Alice Cooper You May Have Never Knew

In this article I am going to list a few facts about the Godfather Of Shock Rock, Alice Cooper that you may or may have never known. Here we go:...

Heavy Metal-Sploitation Part 3

I know it has been a little while since I have done one of these and I thought that needed to change. For this article's movie we are covering R...

Top 10 Madonna Songs from the 80s and 90s

Madonna without a doubt is one of the most known faces from the 80s that still is in the music game today. With 4 decades of music under h...

Gwen Costume 2000

I guess this story starts way back in April 2000 when No Doubt released their fourth album (not their sophomore one like some people say). There was...

Halloween Promotional Items of the 80s and 90s

While Back to the Future single-handedly caused me to fantasize and yearn for the imminent invention of flying cars and hover boards, it has become...

Urban Legend visit of my youth-revisited

Every year at this time, I find myself recalling some of my local urban legends, eerie locales, and stories of the creepy/odd, that I learned about as...

Searching for a Real Haunted House

Searching for a Real Haunted House or the mostly True Ghost StoryWhat is a ghost to you? The spirit of the dead, a living memory forever etched in tim...

Scariest 80's Cartoon Villains

Cartoon heroes had a hard time making an impression on the TV watching youth of the 20th century without a good villain to knock around each episode...

MOST RECENT RETRORATING FEATURED OFFICIAL

Go to page: