The Cereal Incident

By: fuschnikt

Remember the days you could go to the grocer with your mother and rely on the cereal aisle to have box after box brandished with the words, and I’m paraphrasing here, ‘Free Toy Inside!’ Few and far between these days.

I can remember hiding a box of Corn Pops under my bed overnight to be sure to get my hands on the sticky football that would tumble down any wall you chucked it at. (I was young, naive, and my brother already had one, so, fair play)

Furthermore.. do you remember the days when that fun toy was actually hidden, imbedded within the sweetness of the cereals for you to dig your hands in and excavate your prize? These days if you do luck upon a box with a toy inside, it is sealed in its own baggie, safely outside of the cereal bag itself.

Now..I understand the modern desire to sanitise everything, but spelunking the box through masses of flakes or loops or puffs or what-have-you was one of the funnest parts of childhood. You earned that free toy inside. Allow me to tell you a story..

When I was four years old my mother brought a box of cereal home from the crunchly club. The crunchly club is what, in my childlike innocence, I had dubbed “The Country Club”. A grocery store that once resided in the space that is now a Gold’s Gym just down the mall from Donatelli’s, near Century College. I’m sure many of you know the spot.

As I recall I spent many-a-time side tracked from play, repeating those words, “crunchly club”, to my parentals, who assured me they weren’t laughing ‘at’ me. The aforementioned box of cereal was a big box of the Cap’n. Cap’n crunch. So delicious, then and now. Of course, being the good old days, this box contained a free toy inside. A robot..which perhaps did something that I can’t recall. I wanted this robot.

Taking the box to my room I assured my mother I just wanted to look at the box. “Just don’t open it” she said. I closed the door. My first attempt to open a box of cereal culminated in an explosion of miniature yellow biscuits all over my childhood room. I immediately started weeping uncontrollably, much like a four year old, which I was.

Frantically, and in a panic, I started cramming handful after handful of cereal pieces and carpet fibers into the mangled bag and box, chanting a mantra of ‘mom is gonna be so mad at me’ ad nauseum. When all was done I confessed my transgression to my mother between the dry hiccupy spasmic inhalations that only come to children after the most intense bouts of sobbing. I never got the robot.

To this day I’m not sure what it did, if anything,aside from being plastic and robot-y. The cereal was likely tossed. Nobody should be eating that many foreign particles and carpet fibers.

Looking for more from fuschnikt?

READ 188013 TIMES

The Disney Afternoon Revisited

Cartoon series produced by The Walt Disney Company, even those of less than classic stature (I’m looking at you, Marsupilami) have a way of gainin...

My 6th Birthday Party

This is my most memorable birthday - November 20 1995.I remember getting up and asking my mom if I could stay home from school since it was my birthda...

Miss M's Top 10 Retro Toys of 2014!

Toy collecting has long been a hobby of mine; particularly vintage collecting. I am a child of the 80’s, one of the greatest decades for toy colle...

Top Sidekick Characters from 80s Movies

The leading man often gets all of the accolades and attention, but he often owes a lot to his loyal sidekick. Who is Don Quixote without Sancho Panza?...

Women's Fashion of the 80s

Discussions of women’s fashion in the 80s are often clouded by a haze of Aquanet hairspray and leg warmers. There was so much more to the styles o...

Bill & Ted's Excellent Filming Locations Tour

The 1989 film, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure has always had a special place in my heart. The story of 2 California rocker/slacker buddies w...

Birthday Or BUST!

What grown up doesn't look back on their childhood fondly? Birthdays were especially awesome times. Unlike Christmas, this day was solely yours for re...

American Gladiators

Athleticism, glittery Spandex, an obstacle course to make Double Dare blush, it all adds up to American Gladiators! During a time when we idolized Arn...

Kids Magazines of the 90s

There were a lot of interesting kids magazines available on newsstands in the early 90’s. You had your Disney Adventures, Zillions and for the scout...

MOST RECENT RETRORATING FEATURED OFFICIAL

Go to page: