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Don't mess
with the bull.
JOIN!!!
Toy Talk with Miss M- Episode 2!
Voice Over: Ladies and
gentlemen, toys and dolls make some noise for your hostess cupcake, the one and
only, Miss M!
Cheers
erupt as Miss M steps out to greet her audience.
Miss M: Hey everyone!
I’ve got a fun show today. We’ve got a special hunk of a guest and I’m just
thrilled with what my make up team did with my hair. Orko, my hair magician,
really spun something magical on my head today. He says he was inspired by
icing and Swift Wind. Either way, let’s get this show started with some hot toy
talk!
Miss M: Whew! The one
thing I love about this show is all the dirt my team brings up for me. I love
sharing all the hijinks of your favorite toys. It’s just magic. So I’ve got
some sad news to report. Jean Grey has been enraged that her most recent figure
has become a bit of a rarity in stores, and sadly, her rage has brought out the
Dark Phoenix in her.
Miss M: News outlets
have been reporting that her madness has been spreading all over the galaxy and
that if anyone spots her on the loose that they remain indoors and do not try
to confront her. She has an appetite that could disrupt the fabric of the
universe. Wow. Poor Jean. That sounds rough.
Miss M: What are your
thoughts on plastic surgery? Word on the toy aisle is that Skeletor is going to
be undergoing the very first toy face transplant! When asked what new sort of face
he was hoping to have, this was his response:
Skeletor: I am Skeletor!
My new face will be fearsome and will scare that miserable He-Man and his
twit-sister She-Ra. The secrets of Grayskull will soon be mine!
Miss M: His highly
publicized transplant surgery is scheduled to begin sometime in the beginning of
2014. Toy Talk will certainly keep you posted. Now let’s move on to our next
story. Has anyone seen the California Raisins lately? That’s what the Food and
Drug Administration is asking as it has been a few months since they were last
seen anywhere. Here is the last known photo of them…
Miss M: The thing that
concerns me is that sitting under the sun is bad for your skin, especially for raisins. And why is Sour
Grapes in the photo? If you ask me, I am willing to bet that the California
Raisins can be found in her kitchen. Just sayin.
Miss M: All right,
enough of the toy gossip, let’s get ready for our guest. He has just written a
conspiracy theory novel about the impending zombie apocalypse courtesy of a
shady corporation, give a warm applause for Chris Redfield!
Chris
Redfield steps out onto the stage with a bit of caution. Striking quite the
look of rugged charm, he makes his way to Miss M.
Miss M: Wow, you look really nice in person! I love this whole tactical look.
Chris: Thanks.
Miss M: Please let’s
sit. We have so much to discuss.
Chris: Sure. What’s with the thing on
your head? I was watching from backstage and I can’t figure it out.
Miss M: (gives a goofy
smile) Oh goodness! Yes, it’s a unicorn horn bump-it.
Chris: What is that?
Miss M: My hair
magician wanted to put a clip in my hair that looked like I’d have a unicorn
horn. It’s the height of dorky fashion.
Chris: Ok. I don’t know much about
fashion.
Miss M: That’s
perfectly fine! You do know about zombies though. I was reading over your book
the other night, and I was completely blown away. You make some outrageous
claims.
Chris: I had to tell the truth. The
zombie apocalypse is coming and it is being brought to us by the Umbrella
Corporation.
Miss M: Ya know, I
don’t think I’ve heard of them before. What do they specialize in?
Chris: They produce a lot of household
products to unsuspecting consumers while secretly they are actually creating
bioengineered weapons among other deadly things.
Miss M: Yes. You
mention in your book that this corporation actually unleashed an outbreak of
zombies and other beasts in a city, yet there has never been any evidence of
this. Were you there?
Chris: Yes. I was. I lost friends. I
saw a lot of good people die at the hands of these monsters. That’s why I’m
here today; I want to spread the word about what is going on in this world.
Miss M: It sounds
riveting. How do you respond to the people that think you are a crackpot and
are making this all up?
Chris: What else can I do? There is a
real danger out there. The world is not safe.
Miss M: This is true,
the world does certainly feel like a dangerous place, but honestly, I had a
hard time believing a great deal of what you wrote in this book. It was a
stunning read, but it seemed like it was from the plot of a video game or
something.
Chris: (looks away) Oh no.
A
dog wanders onto set.
Miss M: Oh my goodness!
How did this dog get on set? Can we get someone to escort the dog out of here?
My goodness! That is one mangy looking dog.
Chris: It’s happening.
Miss M: (looks slightly
scared) What’s happening?
The
dog growls as blood and bile ooze out of his mouth.
Miss M: Oh no! It’s
going to ruin the floor!
Chris: Sit back!
Miss
M shrieks as Chris pulls out his big guns.
Miss M: What in the
world?! Where were you hiding those?!
Chris: Just sit back!
Chris fires at the zombie dog blowing him to bits.
Miss M: Grody! You just
killed that dog! Oh goodness, this is a mess. I can’t take losing anymore dogs.
What kind of stunt are you trying to pull?
Chris: This isn’t a stunt. We are in
danger. Come on, we gotta get out of here.
Miss M: We can’t just
leave in the middle of a show! Crap, I’m going to lose my job.
Chris: You are gonna lose your life if
you continue to stick around here.
They
get ready to exit the set when they hear a strange sound.
Miss M: Huh?
Chris: Oh this is bad.
Miss M: (looks at a
zombie) Oh no! That’s the studio security guard Bruce! I just spoke to him an
hour ago!
Chris: He’s not speaking anymore.
Miss M: He offered me
that donut for breakfast! I can’t believe he is a zombie! There goes his social
life. Chris, do something!
Chris
fires off his gun. The zombie keeps approaching.
Chris: I can’t get a clean shot. Stand
back.
Miss
M is pushed over near the dog parts.
Miss M: Oh grody. My
poor shoes are getting dog goo on them. So grody.
Chris: (calls back to her) Send me the
bill.
Miss M: I will!
Chris
keeps firing, but suddenly someone fires a powerful blast from the other side,
blowing the zombie to bits.
Miss M: What was that!
Chris: I don’t know.
Suddenly,
a new guest arrives: Jill Valentine!
Jill: All right you turkeys, it’s time
to go!
Chris: Jill, how did you find me?
Jill: Easy goofball, you’re on
television. Come on, before Umbrella sends any more crap after us.
Chris: All right. We still need to find
my sister. Oh, and Miss M is coming with us.
Miss M: Hi.
Jill: Sup. I like your show.
Miss M: Oh thanks! If
we get out of this alive, I’d be happy to autograph something for you.
Jill: No, that’s cool. Come on!
As
they prepare to leave the set, one more visitor decides to show up.
Miss M: Oh wow, is that
a spider?
Chris: Get back M, you aren’t prepared
to handle this.
Jill: This thing is blocking our path!
Spider: HISS!
Miss M: I didn’t know
spiders could hiss.
Suddenly
the spider hatches open its backside and unleashes a sting of slimy baby
spiders all over Miss M. She can only scream over and over, in a very shrill
way.
Miss M: I can’t
breathe. I think I’m going to throw up. Hurry and get these baby spiders off me
before they lay eggs in my cheek! I’m too pretty for this! HELP!!!
Jill: (stomps out the bug) She’s a bit
melodramatic Chris.
Chris: True, but she’s funny. (helps
Miss M up) You’re gonna be all right.
Miss M: I don’t
understand why this is happening. How are we going to get out of this?
Jill: Very easily. We’ve got enough
ammunition to bust our way out. I’ve got a car outside waiting, we have to go.
Now!
Miss M: Have you guys
ever worked for Toy Biz? I feel like I’ve seen you two together before.
Chris: M, we really need to go. Ditch
the dorkette stuff for when we are alive.
Miss M: (looks up to
her cameraman) Cameraman Phil, you heard them. We’re cutting the show early.
Fade to commercial, we’re out! I better make it out alive…
To
be continued?
MissM Posted on Nov 19, 2013 at 05:34 PM
Oh goodness those Palisades figures were top notch weren't they? I miss that toy company so much. They really made some amazing stuff. I have more RE stuff from Toy Biz but I thought I'd save it for another post one day. lol This one ended up becoming longer than I had expected. lol
Vaporman87 Posted on Nov 19, 2013 at 01:59 PM
LOL. That was funny. "I think I'm going to throw up."
I have those Toy Biz figures of Jill and Chris (and some others) still in sealed on the card. Yes, the Palisades figures were superior in sculpt and paint application, but these were the first RE figures widely released here in America.
Funny stuff Miss M. :)
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