Muppet Mayhem

You know Freddy, and Pinhead, Michael, and Jason. You know Chucky, and Leatherface, Jack Torrence, and Pennywise, but do you recall the most nightmarish villain of all. Statler and Waldorf muppet...OK OK so maybe not everyone was as horrified of the two wise cracking old muppets who’d jeer most episodes of the Muppet Show, but I for one was terrified by the both of them. They haunted my nightmares...literally.

To this day I still get chills when I hear them laughing. Now before you rush to their defense, I am aware my fear is irrational. I mean for as many horror movies as I consumed as a small child, never once did one get under my skin the way Waldorf and Statler did.

Freddy seemed a dapper gentleman compared to the likes of those two. Also Freddy ultimately left me alone even when I was sleeping.

Not Waldorf and Statler. No those two lurked deep in the shadowy recesses of my brain waiting for me to finally doze off, and when I did they would strike. In one dream I remember there had been a recent ice storm so trying to move was next to impossible. As I slowly inched my way forward I felt their presence behind me breathing down my neck. I tried to run, but inevitably slipped up on the ice. Seeing their window of opportunity they would strike. They would strike hard. Statler armed with a walker began to beat me unmercifully whilst Waldorf looked on and chuckled. I would eventually wake up screaming, but it did little good as I knew they were still there waiting. Waiting for me to slowly ease back into sleep so that they could strike again. For months, possibly years, they would hound me each time getting a little more violent. In one dream I remember Waldorf taking a cheap shot at me as Statler pushed me down a flight of stairs. Bloodied and disoriented I just lay there staring into their cold felt faces.