The Fear of Toys

Toys are always meant to be fun. They bring joy to kids and some adults the world over. I have made no secret about my joy for collecting action figures and other various forms of plastic pop culture confections. However there are some toys that weren’t always bringing me joy. In fact, there have been some toys that have downright scared me to death; not so much items as an adult, but there were some things that freaked me out growing up! So let’s revel in the silly misery of my youth!

I grew up enjoying the Masters of the Universe toy line as a kid, not as much as the Princess of Power line, but there was something magical about the He-Man toy line. I had the safe items, like Teela, Evil-Lyn, and the Sorceress. (He-Man and Skeletor need not be mentioned. Of course I had them!) But that was mostly it. The rest of the unusual cast of characters from the He-Man cartoon made for some interesting toys.

I learned about these fascinating characters from my slightly older cousin and my best friend’s brother. They each had so much and when I was around I’d get schooled on who was who. (I’d do my best to explain to them who the She-Ra characters were, but no dice, they just weren’t interested. They missed out though!)

Anyways, there were two characters that struck fear down my dorky little spine. Spikor was the first one. Check out this vintage commercial for a look!

We can see that Spikor looks like a total bad(beep). He has spikes all over him and an arm that is also a weapon. How could anything be cooler for a villain? Here’s the deal though: I have always been a bit of an airhead. As a kid I thought Spikor was incredibly dangerous and if placed in my hands I’d somehow end up with bloody cuts and puncture wounds from his spikes. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to play with a toy so dangerous; or even how it was possible for something like that to be made!

My best friend’s brother thought my hang-up was ridiculous and to prove that Spikor was no more a threat than Beast Man, he grabbed hold of the Spikor from his toy chest to show me that nothing dangerous could happen. While I did feel slightly better about hanging around Spikor, I was sure to always be cautious of those spikes.

The other MOTU figure that caused me anxiety as a wee young one was none other than Stinkor. You all must understand, I was born a girly girl and I’m going to die a girly girl. Well, I’ll die a girly woman because I am old now, but I’ve always been girly. I have always loved scented toys that smelled like flowers and cakes. I like my scented stickers to smell like bubble gum and cotton candy. If I’m feeling wild… pizza scent is as good as it can get; or maybe root beer. Root beer stickers were amazing. I digress. So Stinkor presented a conundrum to my younger self. Here’s an image of a mint Stinkor:

A message claims that the product has a real smell and that it (the smell) is fun. On the surface that sounds extremely cool! Who wouldn’t want a toy that smells? Anyways, I thought the toy smelled like funky skunk and gas. Why on Etheria would I want to play with something like that? (That’s the question that my young self asked.)

I was terrified of this toy. I cringed when I saw him in stores. I avoided the toy if I was at my cousin’s house. My fear was that his horrid smell would float my way and get stuck on me forever. Skunks weren’t cute when I was a kid unless it was a skunk from Bambi. So as a kid I avoided Stinkor and I was wrong for that.

Growing up and being more mature I have completely done a 180. Stinkor never smelled like a real skunk nor did he smell like bad gas. It was more like patchouli or in other words: old man hippy. (I kid, I kid, patchouli smell isn’t all that awful.) Either way he was far from being as dangerous as I thought he was.

In fact through the years I have found a soft spot in my heart for Stinkor. He sounds grody and all, but with his appearance in the 200X Masters of the Universe cartoon, it was nice to imagine just who Stinkor was as a character. I like to think that he speaks in third person. Here’s hoping that someone makes a Stinkor plush. (I’ve wanted one for awhile now.) I have my fingers crossed.

What say you? Are there any toys that scared your younger self; or even now as an adult? Share with me! I have plenty other toys that freak me out as well, so stay tuned! I’m sure I will share more in due time. Be sure to check out even more articles and features on Retro-Daze from some amazing writers! (The forum is also pretty fabulous.) Take it easy everyone!